I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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