Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
