The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
