you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
