i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How does it feel to date your dad?
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