Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
