its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
