what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize