Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
