Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
