Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
