I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
