I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
