did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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