I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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