This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize