its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
