Having a random hookup so left but love u
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
