why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
