Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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