Sry I called you an 8
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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