Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
