Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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