I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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