Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize