no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
