I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
