she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
