Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
