we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
