sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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