I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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