you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
