my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize