did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize