i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
