I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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