my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
