I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
