I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
