Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
