Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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