My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
