My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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