Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
