Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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