I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
