i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
