I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize