I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
