Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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