Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you inspire me to be a worse person
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
