stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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