i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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