apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We have started to decorate penises.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize