ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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